When I first caught wind of the #ithinkilikethislittlelife trend last year, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes just a little. Thankfulness this, gratitude that, I love you say it back, yeah yeah yeah. I’d heard it all, I’d understood it all, I’d practiced it all. But did I really?

Don’t get me wrong—I was really, really grateful for my life, for my family, for my friends, for my passions, for my ability to work comfortably from home doing freelance work on my own schedule and running my own business with my best friend aka my mom. But did I practice appreciation for what I had each and every day? Honestly, no. I was wayyy too caught up in my own trivial anxious thoughts and thought spirals to pay attention.

I’ve been doing a lot of limbic system retraining and mindset shifting. I was doing it last year too, but I’m even more self-aware now. (I’m sure next year, I’ll say the same thing.) I don’t adhere to a formal meditation practice, it’s just a state of mind I tap into to make sure I’m vibrating at my highest frequency all throughout the day. I made up a new mantra to tell myself when I find my mind slipping into negativity: “The ROI on stress is never worth the investment.” If stress is a held breath, gratitude is a satisfying inhale and exhale.

I wrote about this on Instagram, but I don’t think my emotions have ever been so volatile. Maybe I’m in a place now where I can tap into, fully feel, and address those darker emotions. I’m not going to sugarcoat things. My health is rather poor right now (I see a new doctor at the end of this month), My July is struggling (it’s hard to compete with other small businesses who have outside funding and whose founders aren’t dealing with chronic illness, so please, if you have the ability to, please make a purchase from our site or share our skincare line with a friend), and I still don’t have a literary agent for my memoir. It’s frustrating when you feel like you’re so close yet so far.

In full transparency, just a few weeks ago, I was looking at villas outside of Rome and Barcelona, thinking to myself, “Would I feel better here?” And the truth is, maybe I would. Maybe the food in America is literally making me sick to the point where I cannot get better (my digestion is the main thing that I cannot seem to heal). I’m going to see what my new doctor says. Depending on what materializes from that, I’ll most likely plan a trip to the Mediterranean in September/October. “What a dream to live there!” But then I realize, I live in Los Angeles, surrounded by culture and creativity and nature and good weather and so many historical landmarks.

I was driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with my mom en route to Malibu when I had a ping. Movies are made about where I live. Musicians sing songs about where I live. Writers write books about where I live. People have visiting where I live on their bucket list. It’s a privilege to live where I live. Yesterday, a photo of The Flower Fields came up in my photo memories on my phone. It took my breath away.

So even when I can’t do half the things I want to, even when my health is failing and so many things aren’t going as planned or the way I envisioned, I still have a fulfilling life. I don’t romanticize other people’s lives because everyone is battling their own demons. Instead, I find pleasure in my simple joys. I know that my life will become more expansive in the future. And you know what? I think I like this little life.

Till next time.

xx,
Micaela

P.S. See bits and pieces of my little life I’m grateful for on my Instagram.